On Using Your Brain

I don't care how old you are, READ MORE SIGNS. 


When something says "enter," follow the path to the exit. Don't just turn around and try to exit through the entrance. 


Yelled at the little junior highers in the ADC today. The kids were being really obnoxious. It took everything for me to not be super snotty and say, "Okay so I know that you're in junior high and you know everything and can't possibly be ANY COOLER than you are at this point in your life, but can you just use the brain God gave you, put your stupid tray in the tray return and walk out the exit like a normal person?"


All I said was, "EXCUSE ME go the other way."


Thankfully the person I was with thought it was funny or I would have felt a little bad about it. 

On Clothing

Booty shorts + 60 degree weather + wind = STUPID

I seriously do not understand why girls don't use their brains. But hey, if they want pneumonia then that's THEIR problem (and their roommates problem if you think about it).

On Journalism

I actually have no desire to ever have a story written about me. I prefer blogging, that way I know the facts are right. 


I do like taking pictures of all kinds, but I'd rather capture the whole story, not just me and my friends. 


I'm a photographer and a journalist, I stay behind the camera and I hold the pen. 


It's a control issue. But I'm not as interested in attention as people think. 

This is Chris Hardy. We're photographers for the school yearbook and newspaper. This is what I mean when I say I stay behind the camera. 

On Relationships

Breaking up is NOT always a bad thing. 


So when you see that a couple is no longer together, don't think it's because something went wrong. It might just be for other reasons that ARE NOT YOUR BUSINESS. 


So yeah, it's their relationship, not yours. Get over it, people have been breaking up for years before this. 

On Clothing

NEWSFLASH: UNDERGARMENTS ARE MEANT TO STAY UNDER YOUR CLOTHES!!


No one really wants to see your bra straps, thongs, boxers, etc... So put on a sweater, wear a different bra, put on pants that fit you better, wear a longer shirt... ANYTHING. 


Just don't let the world see anything they don't want to. 

On Clothing

Lacy bras are meant for one place: the bedroom. With your spouse. 


Don't wear them underneath a thin camisole. It's not flattering and it's kinda distracting. 

On Being Classy

Don't be rude.


That's just it, just don't be rude. Nobody cares for it. If you're rude, well then people won't like you. 


There's a time and place for humor that would otherwise come off as rude, but seriously just be polite and act in such a way that a really sweet old lady wouldn't find appalling. 

On Controversial Topics

Stick to your argument, but be willing to see the other side. 


Also, don't condemn people to hell in the heat of a disagreement. It pisses people off and it's just all around rude. There was only one perfect human being, and it's not you. 


Therefore, shut up and get over the fact that there will always be evil in the world. 

Have a damn open mind before you put your foot in your mouth. 

On Clothing

Thongs + Mini dress = Not okay.


I mean really? Wear some shorts or something that doesn't involve the possibility of seeing your bare butt. 

On Legendary Badasses

This isn't as much of a rant as just a statement of fact. 

Examples of legendary badasses:

1. Chuck Norris
2. Liam Neeson
3. Bruce Willis
4. Jet Li
5. Sean Connery
6. Sylvester Stallone
7. Harrison Ford
8. Jason Statham
9. Russel Crowe
10. Christian Bale
11. Tom Cruise
12. Pierce Brosnan
13. Christopher Reeve (even though he died, he was freaking Superman)
14. Mark Whalberg
15. Robert Downey Jr.
16. Gerard Butler
17. Denzel Washington
18. Will Smith
19. Daniel Craig
20. Antonio Banderas

The only problem I have with this list is Daniel Craig. I will admit that I made this list, but the only reason Daniel Craig made it is because he was James Bond. But he's not REALLY James Bond because he didn't know how to drive a sports car before he started filming. Thus making him a wuss.

These are it. Make no mistake, even though they're all well past their 20s and some even their 50s, it doesn't get much more badass than these guys. 

There will probably come time for me to add or subtract from this list. But I'm just saying, Channing Tatum and whatever other pretty boy in Hollywood is NOTHING compared to the action heroes on this list. 

On Homework

Just do it. 


Save the rest of the class from getting yelled at. We pretty much all know who you are, because you sink down in your seats. 


So yeah. I'm the world's most notorious procrastinator and I still get it all done. 


Get it done. 


That would be really super. 

On Clothing

Dear Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch, 


You should make clothes for real girls. Because REAL girls (with boobs and flab and love handles) don't wear an X-Small in anything.


Somehow you've turned every single female under the age of 17 into a premature Playboy Bunny. Mostly because you advertise your clothes in the most sex-crazed and scandalous way possible. 


The most I can buy from your stores are sweaters and yoga pants. Because those are the only things that can actually handle my far from flat chest and love handles without making me feel like I need to hit the gym.  


Oh and FYI, plaid doesn't REALLY look good on anyone. It's great on flannel pajamas, but it making it in the cheapest material possible is just stupid and it makes people look boxy and like they have no figure at all. 


All I'm saying: not every girl wants their boobs coming out of everywhere. Note what I said about leggings as pants... same applies for boobs falling out of shirts. 


It's trashy. 


For those of you who wear clothes from these stores on a regular basis, I'm sorry, but save your money and go to Old Navy or American Eagle.